They told me that it’s due to stress.
Eight months ago I was diagnosed with a rare disease that affects a person out of a million every year; a rare autoimmune disease that involves the peripheral nervous system.
One day you get up with double vision because also cranial nerves are involved. You cannot stand and it keeps getting worse until you get paralysis from your eyes to the tip of the foot; then you lose the control of your body until you cannot breathe alone anymore as the diaphragm muscles stopped working. You wake up intubated in ICU, full of needles everywhere and fed through a feeding tube and through a central venous catheter and you start thinking that you are going to die...
That’s it!... even though I had already imagined that a few hours before when my lungs were suddenly collapsing and my thoughts went to my wife, my only thought at that moment instead of the recurring "I have seen my life passing by ".
Bullshit! I thought that I was scared, I did not understand what was going on and that I would have made my wife sad passing away.
It was happening to me.
After twenty days I was discharged from ICU to be moved to the ward. I had lost more than 10 kg of body mass. I switched from catheter to diapers (have you ever tried to explain to your brain that after having used a toilet for 41 years you have to pass your stools laying on your bed? NAA... Not at all!). While I continued suffering of double vision during the further three months and I was still feeling numb, I was fed and I slowly started eating again. Then my voice started to come back as well as my facial expressions. I had never been shaved for years thus now that they shaved me my face looked more like my ass!
I started physiotherapy for approximately one hour per day. I had to deal day by day with discouragement and crying for a few minutes but I was slowly improving. My wife has always stayed with me, I do not know how I would have managed it without her.I don’t know how I would do today without her.
They blame the stress. I have to suggest you to face life in a different way even if we are going through a terrible period affecting the professional life and the society as a whole. Don’t keep anything inside, tell people what you think both about good and bad things; do not put off what makes you feel well, breathe, let the sun rays warm your skin.
Now, after eight months the situation is under control and I am taking photographs again. I have never been so happy before and this is what my pictures say too. My enthusiasm, for photography and for life in general is currently to the max, so as in the morning I get up long before sunrise to take advantage of each single minute of this great adventure... several projects and dreams have already started to come true.
Despite what happened, and despite I was knocked out just one more time I am still here, stronger than ever and with new eyes I will be telling you about this world made of stories and people who love each other. You won’t get disappointed!
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